Excuses, Excuses

Morning Campers! That was a bit of a crappy festive season, I remained ill until the the 2nd week in January. So whilst I had a strong urge to moan about things, I couldn’t back it up with any action. On top of my own malaise my computer decided it wasn’t well either.

I have to say the year has got off to a great start though. If you like to whinge about the madness of the world that is, but I don’t think I can be bothered to launch into a review of the year so far for the gruntled. I have already spent two hours this morning trying to beat my computer into submission.

Does anyone know how long it takes to turn a couple of old wrecks and some RAF bases into prison camps? I was thinking of going on a petty crime spree since there is currently an amnesty on custodial sentences unless you actually murder someone by the looks of it. So know is the time to walk up to smiling Tony or one of his cronies and give them a good slapping.

Also in the news this week rail bosses informed us that travelling in an overcrowded train bulging at the doors with commuters is safer than a train in which everyone can get a seat. That’s very reassuring. Of course your train has to actually arrive before you can enjoy the safety of being elbowed in the stomach, repeatedly slapped in the face with shoulder bags and get your feet crushed by expensive leather shoes. I feel particularly safe when all those heavy bags are precariously placed on the razor thin luggage racks above my head. So next time I am luxuriating in someone else’s all pervading body odour and wondering why the gentleman in the suit behind me has such a large phone pressed against my thigh I’ll at least know that I am safe. I can’t help wondering where all those essential commuter accessories like laptops, umbrellas, briefcases and flasks full of hot coffee end up in the event of an accident?

In a shock revelation our landlord has decided to sell the pokey basement flat we rent from him. So now we have to find somewhere else to house the cat and ourselves. Amazingly it is on market for £170,000. Any of you who have visited can retrieve your lower jaws from the floor now.

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