Jan proves God is a git

It’s ironic that during the times when I have the least to do, I get the least amount of stuff done. I have had very little to do since the 11th of June, which is when I completed my notice for my old job. So you’d think that I might have at least updated this web page? Well you would be wrong. I was expecting to start my new job on the 2nd of July, but I am still waiting for a start date!

You might think that favours the argument that God is after all quite a nice bloke. That Janimania is in fact a lucky bastard. If so you have failed to consider the major fact that I am not being paid for this unexpected break in my career. In addition since I still don’t have a start date now that all the relevant documents have been in the hands of the HR department for over a week I am starting to worry that I might have to start prostituting myself to the employment agencies again and damn sharpish too!

It might not be quite so worrying if I hadn’t borrowed £3k from my beloved to buy a GSXr 1000 (oh but it is sooooooooo lovely to ride) to replace the frankenbike, Christine, the cursed and dying GPZ500 (well several of them actually, different models stapled together by Blue Peter presenters I think).

OK, never mind. At least I live by the seaside, have a fantastic bike, and a large chunk of summer off work! Oh no, wait a minute. What F*****g summer? It looks like I will have all next week doing nothing waiting for the Medical company to declare me fit for work, and guess what the forecast says? Torrential rain all week. Excellent!

So basically I have 6 weeks of free time over summer with a new and very rideable, very fast, sports bike and we consistently get the highest rainfalls and worst flooding for the time of year in a century or more. When am I next going to get 6 weeks off in the summer without winning the lottery or completely losing the crappy game of [modern] life? God, you non-existent bastard, I officially name you a total git. Take that your omnipotence.

In other news, according to the BBC Windows Vista is driving Microsoft sales to achieve 11% growth over last year. According to every other source (the register has a more cynical view here), Windows Vista sales under-performed by $20-$30m (This was from the Chief Financial Officer, Chris Liddell) causing growth to remain inline with the last three years (non revolutionary mega-hyped shit operating system release years). Shares dropped as a result of profits not meeting expectations. Such a report isn’t just biased it is simply wrong!

Oooh and what a suprise! No one at all was found to be guilty of anything in the cash for honours enquiry. Surely that’s not right? We need a scapegoat and we need one now! Why can’t they throw that recently unemployed git with the plastic grin to the wolves? Actually maybe it would be better all around if they send him to the Middle East. I just wish they would get on with it.

Finally, Ian Formean – or a suitable representative, where are you now??? Send me a mail you bastard!

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