I forgot the title and can’t even claim the dog ate it

I was thinking lots of brilliant things this evening but the moment I decided I needed to record them for posterity (and the unlikely possibility that I might be able to earn some kind of living writing about stuff) they fled into the murky green depths of my mind which were, I promise, clear blue a few years ago. I think. [#hashfuckingtagolympicrelevance #IHateTheModernWorldAndIHelpedCreateIt #whatanawesometag]

This sort of thing seems to be happening with increasing frequency to the point where I am really worrying about the decline of my mental capabilities. The irony is I’m such a hopeless bastard that it took me twice as long as normal people to mature enough to realise my potential in the first place.

I started this website in 2001 intending it to be both a learning tool and an anonymous output for my own thoughts, the main focus for myself was the latter. I was thinking about the raw stuff, which means not editing out things that our cultural heritage says should never be discussed. I’m not talking specifics here, but if you want to write you need a foundation of experience to draw from. So far in my life I have been too cowardly to attempt to craft fiction using real experiences as inspiration. Even trying to write this, I’m evaluating the effect it might have on anyone I know who reads it. I find it impossibly constraining. I am actually typing this as if it is being live teletyped (it is a word google. It just hasn’t been used for a long time. It is a brand which became a verb and consequently became technologically irrelevant.) I need to remind myself that I can write [redacted] and edit it out later.

One worry I didn’t have then, but which has become increasingly relevant is the enthusiastic pursuit of criminals through cruising the internet instead of the streets. There is also the ever growing list of ways in which you can fall foul of the law. I’m no master criminal but it could be so easy to ‘publish’ an immature, unexplored thought on a web page and find yourself in front of the courts. Sometimes it seems that the ‘free speech’ previous generations fought so hard for was truly only ‘free’ because they didn’t have the technology to constrain the spoken word.

Some people might argue that free speech doesn’t mean the freedom to write down those words but I’m sure that whilst the semantics of the word ‘publish’ continue to be debated across different legislatures around the world us norms don’t consider facebook, or twitter as publishing in the traditional sense. Real humans think of these media as conversations, virtual pub tables. Blogging is much closer to publishing I guess, but to me it is like a pub rant, or more closely a digital hyde park corner.

In addition it is so easy to offend these days. That ought to be OK of course, and yet there seems to be a huge number of people who believe they should be protected, by law, from being offended. Where did that come from? Is there some sort of cabal pushing idiotic agendas to distract us from tax evasion or climate change? Actually I think there might be. Not a cabal or conspiracy as such, just a collective knowledge amongst the politicians and the rich that climate change and the consequent turmoil frommigration, resource scarcity (ie weather systems changing where water is deposited, where storms reach landfall and the subsequent rapid changes to local environments that the fauna have no chance to adapt to) are now inevitable. We don’t want to cause a panic now do we? Carry on as normal, just make sure you have some islands or several multi million pound super yachts to live on through the worst of the turmoil to come.

The anonymity lasted no time at all of course and if I had ever achieved it in any way, I wouldn’t be writing this…or would I? Actually yes, I would. This is exactly what I would do (and am).

Lately I find I could care less, but I care much less than I did. There must be a happy medium, maybe I can bare my soul without baring my arsehole? (no bears were harmed in the crafting of the previous sentence ( Not a guarantee! ). Although one large tabby was as usual doing his nightly, slightly dangerous, dog impersonation

It has been so long since I posted regularly on here now, that it’s practically anonymous again and you don’t get better at writing by not writing.

So this should be like both extra storage for my fading memories and some mental exercise for my failing faculties I am going to try to get back into thinking out loud on here and just not telling anyone about it. It seems to be working well for my guitar playing. I could tell you about that, but then I would have to kill you etc…

The proof is in the pudding of course. I am (as is traditional for my blogging) a bit tipsy this eve morning and I’ll probably have forgotten all about any resolutions I am making now by the morning. I refer you to my first sentence (I think)

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